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HANDBOOK FOR CLERGY ON CHILD ABUSE AND NEGLECT
Mary Lu Bowen (©1995)

TABLE OF CONTENTS
Problem and Scope
When Wondering Becomes Suspicion
Sexual Abuse
      What Is It?
      Who Does It and Why Does It Continue?  
      Indicators
Physical Abuse
       What Is It?

       Indicators
Child Neglect
       What Is It? 

      Indicators
Emotional Neglect
       What Is It?/Indicators

Telling the Difference
Neglect and Poverty Issues

Discipline/Abuse or Neglect
How To Report Abuse and Neglect
What Happens When A Report Is Made
Clergy Confidentiality
Suggestions
        General Suggestions
        Dealing With The Abused Child
        Dealing With The Abusing Parent/Caretaker
        Dealing With The Non-Offending Parent
        In Child Custody Cases
Endnotes

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PROBLEM AND SCOPE

 Child abuse is the maltreatment or neglect of a child less than 18 years old by the parent or other caregiver which results in harm or injury.  It can take one or more of the following forms: physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect or emotional abuse/neglect.

Abuse happens among the wealthy as well as the poor,  in rural areas, suburbs or city. Both male and female children are physically/sexually abused.  Although they are rarely sexual abusers (1-4%), 30-50% of parents who beat their children are mothers. . . .largely because they have more continual contact/care of children.1

WHEN WONDERING BECOMES SUSPICION15

New York State child abuse laws state that when you have "reasonable cause to suspect" you should report.  Sometimes we see things that make us wonder if child abuse is occurring.  How does  this wondering get transformed into "suspicion"?

 If we see a child with bruises and wonder if the child fell off a skateboard, had a fist fight with another chid, or was abused, are we suspecting child abuse within the meaning of the law?  The child has bruises and that is all we know.  This is wondering.

 At the time wondering gives way to suspicion is the time reporting is done.  Several processes must occur as the shift is made.

         *       Coming to grips with one's resistance to considering child abuse/neglect as possible explanations. Some do not want to get involved, or believe treatment of children is a private family matter.  It can also be hard to admit the child of someone you know may be abused or neglected.

         *       Although it is the responsibility of Child Protective Services to conduct an investigation, you will want to find out enough about the situation to make a knowledgeable decision about whether to report.  This can be done by watching behavior/interactions between parent and child, by recalling your own knowledge of the child's and family history and/or medical conditions, knowing what issues to raise (indicators in this booklet will help) and asking questions in a non-threatening way.

         *       Weighing the information, looking for patterns, and deciding if there is reason to suspect injuries are inflicted.

 A report of suspected child abuse/neglect is not an accusation.  It is a request for an investigation - to begin the process of help.  The purpose to protect the child, not punish the perpetrator.  A child victim can seldom seek protection  themselves.  They need someone outside the situation to recognize the danger and report.

SEXUAL ABUSE - WHAT IS IT?5

 Sexual abuse and maltreatment includes situations in which the parent, or other person legally responsible for a child under 18 [or other adult] commits or allows to be committed:

         *       Touching a child's mouth, genitals, buttocks, breast or other intimate parts for the purpose of gratifying sexual desire; or forcing or encouraging the child to touch the parent, or other person legally responsible, in this way for the purpose of gratifying sexual desire.

         *       Engaging or attempting to engage the child in sexual intercourse or deviate sexual intercourse (i.e. contact between penis and anus, mouth and penis, or mouth and vulva).

         *       Forcing or encouraging a child to engage in sexual activity with other children or adults.

         *       Exposing a child to sexual activity or exhibitionism for the purpose of sexual stimulation or gratification of another.

         *       Permitting a child to engage in sexual activity which is not developmentally appropriate when such activity results in the child suffering emotional impairment.

         *       Using a child in a sexual performance such as a photograph, play, motion picture or dance regardless of whether the material itself is obscene.

 Sexual abuse and maltreatment includes such criminal offenses as rape, sodomy, other non-consensual sexual conduct and prostitution.

  

SEXUAL ABUSE:  WHO DOES IT?  WHY DOES IT CONTINUE?6

Children are most often sexually abused by people they know and trust - relatives (even parents), friends of the family, neighbors, babysitters and authority figures (teachers, youth group leaders, clergy, etc.).  Sexual abuse usually occurs in places where children feel comfortable or safe - usually indoors (at home or in the home of a friend).  It occurs in urban, suburban and rural areas.  Income and status are no barrier.

A young sexually abused child has no context by which to determine that what is happening to them is different from how other children are treated.  At first they may feel special because they get hugs.  By the time they begin to sense that things aren't right, a pattern of behavior has begun and the child does not know how to stop it.

Abusers seldom use physical force to get a child to participate in sexual activities.  Rather they take advantage of the child's trust or friendship.  In order to keep the activity a secret when a child begins to question, the abuser may use threats such as the following:

        *       "no one will believe a kid"

        *        "if you tell I'll hurt you"

        *       "I'll hurt your mother"

        *       "you won't be able to live here anymore"

        *       "I'll have to go to jail"

        *       "the family will break up"8

Abusers can use threats like these because children are taught to believe and obey adults.  Although it is possible that things like that will happen, strong efforts are made to keep families together.  It is also true that parents may take sides with each other against the child - or the child may be punished for telling.

 

SEXUAL ABUSE - INDICATORS7

The following physical and behavioral signs (in no way conclusive), should alert one to the possibility of sexual abuse. Since these signs are only indicators, more information should be gathered.

Physical Indicators (Medical professionals more likely to notice)

___     difficulty in walking or sitting/torn, stained or bloody underclothing/pain, itching, bruises, swelling, cuts or bleeding in genitalia, vaginal
            or anal areas

___     venereal disease (especially in pre-teens) or pregnancy

___     unwilling to allow medical exam

___     problems with hygiene/weight gain or loss/somatic problems (ulcers, migraines, etc)

 

Child Behavior Indicators - especially changes

___     unwillingness to change for gym or participate in physical education class/difficulty concentrating in school

___     withdrawal, fantasy, infantile behavior (e.g. thumbsucking, bedwetting) aggressive & disruptive behavior/delinquency or runaway/poor
            peer relationships/poor self esteem/destructive behavior (setting fires, etc.)

___  bizarre, sophisticated or unusual sexual behavior or knowledge

___     fear of a person or intense dislike of being left alone some-where or with someone/change in body language when particular adult
           discussed

___     reports sexual abuse by parent/caretaker

___     loss of appetite/nightmares/inability to sleep/depressed/suicidal/ unexplained gagging/self-mutilation/fear of pregnancy

 

Parent/Caretaker Behavioral Indicators

___  very protective, controlling or jealous of child

___     roll reversal, blurred boundaries

___     encourages child to engage in sexual acts in presence of care-taker or to engage in prostitution

___     misuses alcohol or other drugs

___     knows of venereal disease and fails to seek treatment promptly

___     frequent absence from home/incapacitated mother/siblings leaving home at early age/reunion with estranged parent

___     history of sexual abuse

 

PHYSICAL ABUSE

New York State law (Social Services Law Section 412 and Family Court Act Section 1012)8 says abuse occurs when a parent or person legally responsible for a child less than 18:

        *       inflicts or allows to be inflicted physical injury (by other than accidental means) which cause or creates

                        -       risk of death

                        -       disfigurement

                        -       impairment of physical or emotional health

                        -       loss or impairment of function of bodily organ

        *       creates or allows to be created risk of physical injury (by other than accidental means) which causes any of the above

 

PHYSICAL ABUSE INDICATORS9

Physical abuse includes beating, kicking, cutting, burning, hair pulling or even shaking (especially of extremely young children).  The following indicators, which are in no way conclusive, must be weighed along with other information to determine if abuse exists:

Physical Indicators

___     frequent injuries that are "accidental" or "explained"

___     unexplained/inadequately explained, welts, burns (particularly on hands, feet, back or buttocks), lacerations (especially to face, mouth,
            eyes, external gentilia), bruises, abrasions, bite marks, fractures (old or recent), dental injuries, missing hair

___     lesions or burns in different stages of healing or having distinctive patterns (i.e. from belt buckle, extension cord)

___     injuries on multiple bodily surfaces that could only be accidental from a tumbling fall or auto accident

___     child under 3/especially under 6 months with accidental injuries

___     lack of medical attention for injury, severe infection or fracture/inappropriate treatment with bandages/ medication

___     unexplained convulsions/coma

___     human bite marks: > 3cm between canines

 

Child Behavioral Indicators

___     reports injury by parents

___     behavioral extremes - aggressive/demanding/destructive or shy/withdrawn/compliant/passive or overly adaptive/clings

___     frequently late/absent from school or comes early/stays late

___     afraid of parents or going home/shows little distress at being separated from parents/runs away from home

___     wary of adult contacts or has no fear at all/seeks affection from any adult/plays role of parent

___     generally fearful/cries often/uneasy when other children cry

___     wears clothing that hides injuries/refuses to undress for gym

___     called "different" or "bad" by parents - seems hard to manage for physical or behavioral reasons

___     learning disabilities/developmental delays not attributed to physical/psychological problems

___     self hurting - head banging/self biting/self hitting

___     dramatic improvement when removed from the household

 

Parent Behavioral Indicators

___     seems unconcerned about child/ignores child's crying or reacts with impatience/not aware of seriousness of condition/delays seeking
           medical care/complains of unrelated problems

___     tries to conceal injury/reluctant, defensive or hostile when questioned/offers inadequate or inappropriate explanation/gives different
           explanations for same injury/takes child to different facilities for each injury/story at variance with clinical findings/ if abuse mentioned
           blames third (often unknown) party

___     severe or inappropriate punishment for misbehavior (too harsh for age and what did wrong)/sees child as bad, evil, etc.

___     abuses alcohol and/or drugs

___     immature, extremely dependent, socially isolated, poor impulse control, low tolerance for frustration

___     signs of violent/psychotic/psychopathic behavior

___     history of being abused as a child/reared in an unloving atmosphere and/or experienced harsh discipline as a child

 

CHILD NEGLECT - WHAT IS IT?10

More children (90%) are neglected than abused.  New York State law (Social Services Law Section 412 and Family Court Act Section 1012) says a child is neglected whose physical, mental or emotional condition has been impaired or is in danger of becoming impaired as a result of parent/person legally responsible to exercise a minimum degree of care

        *       in supplying adequate food, clothing, shelter, education, medical, dental, optometrical or surgical care though financially able to do so

        *       in providing proper supervision or guardianship by unreasonably inflicting or allowing to be inflicted harm, or substantial risk thereof
                including

                        -       infliction of excessive corporal punishment

                        -       misusing a drug or drugs

                        -       misusing alcoholic beverages to the extent that he loses self control of his actions except when respondent is voluntarily and
                                regularly participating in a rehabilitative program unless there is evidence that the child's physical, mental or emotional
                                condition has been impaired or is in imminent danger of becoming impaired

                        -       any other acts of a similarly serious nature requiring the aid of the court

                        -       abandonment

Impairment of mental or emotional condition includes substantially diminished psychological or intellectual functioning in relation to, but not limited to:  failure to thrive, control of aggressive or self-destructive impulses, ability to think or reason, acting out or misbehavior (including incorrigibility, ungovernability or habitual truancy) provided such impairment is clearly attributable to unwillingness or inability to exercise a minimum degree of care toward the child".

 

CHILD NEGLECT INDICATORS11

The following indicators of child neglect are in no way conclusive.  Neglect may be present when several of the factors are evident.  On the other hand,  certain factors are sometime present in non-abused children.

Physical Indicators

___     frequently hungry, inappropriately dressed for the weather or has poor hygiene/dirty, torn clothing/often tired or listless

___     consistently left alone or inadequately supervised for long periods of time or in dangerous circumstances

___     unattended medical problems

___     physical examination shows signs of general neglect/ malnutrition/failure to thrive or inappropriate behavior for age

___     symptoms of drug withdrawal in an infant

___     ingestion of noxious substances

___     lack of supervision or has been abandoned

___     exposed to unsafe living conditions

 

Child Behavioral Indicators

___     frequently late/absent from school or comes early/stays late

___     begs or steals food

___     constantly falls asleep in school

___     exhibits delinquent behavior - uses alcohol or drugs, engages in vandalism or sexual misconduct

___     states there is not parent or caretaker

___     excessive responsibility for younger siblings

 

Parent Behavioral Indicators

___     misuses alcohol or drugs

___     disorganized, upsetting home life/isolation from friends, relatives, neighbors

___     is apathetic, feels nothing will change

___     has long-term chronic illness

___     has history of neglect as a child

___     cannot be found

 

EMOTIONAL NEGLECT12

Although emotional neglect is difficult to prove, it can be quite harmful to the emotional/psychological health of a child - the damage extending into adult years.  It includes such things as always being "made fun of" or "put down" at home - being locked in a room - lack of affection - or other dehumanizing actions.

Some of the indicators may be common to all children at one time or another.  When they are noticeable in number and strength to characterize a child's overall manner they may indicate emotional neglect.

Physical Indicators - exhibits one or more of the following:

___     habit disorders (sucking, biting, rocking, etc.)

___     conduct disorders (anti-social, destructive)

___     neurotic traits (sleep disorders, speech disorders, inhibition of play)

___     psychoneurotic reactions (hysteria, obsessions, compulsions, phobias, hypochondria)

___     eating disorders/physically underdeveloped

 

Child Behavioral Indicators

___     poor self image and social skills/low frustration tolerance/ behavioral extremes: agressive/demanding or compliant/shy/ passive

___     overly adaptive - either inappropriately adult or infantile

___      physical, mental or emotional development lags

___     suicide attempts/gestures or other self-destructive behavior

___     confined for long periods of time

___     poor social skills

 

Parent Behavioral Indicators

___     treats children in family unequally; has unrealistic expectations

___     doesn't seem to care about child's problems

___     blames or belittles child/is cold and rejecting/withholds love

 

TELLING THE DIFFERENCE: NEGLECT or CULTURAL EXPECTATIONS, CHILD REARING PRACTICES, POVERTY ISSUES13

 Sometime there is a fine line between neglect and other factors that can be helped by referral to the proper agency.  Some questions to ask yourself when a child is.....

unattended or in care of sibling too young to provide care

___     did parent/sitter abandon?

___     are siblings in charge able/responsible?

___     are there other child care options?

 

dressed inappropriately for weather, chronically dirty, or have persistent skin disorders

___     has child lost winter coat?

___     does child think it fashionable (i.e. dirty sneaks)?

___     is clothing clean but small?

___     is child just being a child (i.e. getting wet/dirty playing in  snow)?

___     is child bathed/put to bed/encouraged to wash for meals?

 

ill and not receiving medical treatment, dental or eye care

___     can appropriate care be afforded?

___     are free clinics available?

___     does parent know location of clinic/able to get there?

 

not regularly in school or kept home to care for younger sibling

___     are they needed for interpreters when parents seek help/services from agencies?

___     is someone at home ill/needing care

 

complains of hunger or shows developmental lags

___     is child allergic to certain foods?

___     does parent know what a nutritious meal is?

___     do cultural factors affect nutrition?

___     is poverty a factor/does parent know how to use food stamps?

 

home is not clean/heated/structurally sound

___     is landlord/owner providing proper services?

 

TELLING THE DIFFERENCE: DISCIPLINE/ABUSE OR NEGLECT14

Most parent educators and child development specialists do not believe children learn more effectively by being hit.  Spanking is a form of hitting.  The messages of fear, humiliation, and aggression conveyed  by spanking prompt the consideration of equally effective, but non-physical forms of discipline.  But spanking is culturally acceptable to some, which means there is often a fine line between discipline and abuse, with no easy answer where discipline ends and abuse begins.  Questions that may help determine:

___     is the purpose of the discipline to correct the child's behavior or primarily to punish or hurt? 

___     was the purpose of the punishment to preserve discipline or to train or educate the child?  Or was the punishment primarily for the
            parent/caretaker's gratification or the result of the parent/caretaker's uncontrolled rage?

 ___     did the child have the capacity to understand or appreciate the corrective purpose of the discipline?  (Very young or mentally disabled
             children cannot).

 ___     was the punishment appropriate to the child's misbehavior?  (No matter how serious a child's misbehavior, extremely hurtful or injurious
             punishments are never justified).

 ___     was a less severe but equally effective punishment available?

 ___     was the punishment unnecessarily degrading, brutal, or beastly in character - or protracted beyond the child's power of endurance?

 ___     if physical force was used, was it recklessly applied?  (Force directed toward a safe part of the body such as the buttocks is ordinarily
            more reasonable than force directed toward vulnerable organs as head or genitalia).

  

 HOW TO REPORT ABUSE AND NEGLECT16

 The New York State Child and Maltreatment Hotline is 1-800-342-3720

 Those who are mandated to report are:  all medical personnel involved in the examination, care or treatment of persons; also Christian Science practitioners, school officials, social services workers, day care center or other child care workers, mental health professionals, police and other law enforcement officials.  Others are obligated by conscience and concern for safety of all children.  Those who report in good faith have immunity from liability.

  

What Information to Give (From Official Reporting Form)  17

1.      Name and address of child/age of child if known.

2.      Name and address of parent/caretaker of the child.

3.      Name of person suspected of abusing/neglecting the child.

4.      Why you suspect the child is being abused or neglected - stated clearly and succinctly.  Focus on harm to the child.

5.      Your name is optional.  It makes it possible for a Child Protective Services worker to talk with you later if necessary.  But an anonymous
          report will be investigated.

6.      Any action you took or information you think is helpful.

You may not get through to the Hotline on your first try.  It may be busy or you may be asked to try again at a certain time.  For an investigation to occur locally you will need to keep trying even if it is inconvenient as the report must come through the Hotline for local Child Protective Services workers to begin an investigation.  Remember, the safety of a child may be at stake.

 

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A REPORT IS MADE18

New York State law requires that each local Department of Social Services maintain a Child Protective Services Program (CPS).  Reports received by the Central Registry Hotline are transmitted directly to CPS in the county where the child resides.

Reports are received during business hours by Intake Units.  At other times by an answering service which contacts a supervisor "on call" for emergencies.  Investigation is initiated within 24 hours and in emergency situations, immediately.

By law CPS must complete investigation within 60 days.  If no credible evidence exists, CPS will "unfound" (does not mean it didn't happen!) the report and the information will be expunged from the Central Registry and local CPS records.  Is abuse or neglect does exist it will "indicate" the report.  CPS must then offer the family necessary services - and may petition family court that the services be accepted.

A CPS caseworker usually contacts the source of the report, the school, doctors, police, hospitals, neighbors or relatives.  They also visit the family to observe conditions.  After obtaining information from these sources a determination is made.

Services are intended to be supportive and rehabilitative rather than punitive.  Most used are casework counseling and supervision, visiting nurses, parent aides, homemakers, psychiatric/psychological evaluation and therapy, day care, foster care placement, family planning and parent education.

In most cases immediate intervention will help prevent further abuse by helping parents see the harm they are causing.  In some cases a child may be removed from the home temporarily to ensure their safety.  In severe cases where parents never work out their problems, legal action is taken to free the child for adoption.

When cases are taken to court the person making the report may be asked to testify (unless report was made anonymously).

 

CLERGY CONFIDENTIALITY19

Confidentiality creates an atmosphere of respect and trust in which help can be provided.  The tradition of clergy confidentiality has enabled some people to seek help who otherwise would not have done so.  It generally operates even if no specific request is made.

For the clergy, confidentiality also has a spiritual context tied most specifically to the act of confession.  The responsibility varies among denominations - ranging from holding confidence with no exceptions to not disclosing without permission or to prevent a crime.

A distinction needs to be made between secrecy and confidentiality.  A commitment to secrecy is one never to share the information in question.  Confidentiality on the other hand means to hold the information in trust - sharing it only in the interest of the person involved - with their permission, to seek consultation or to protect others from harm.  Confidentiality is intended to assist people in getting help with their problems - not preventing them from being held accountable for harmful actions.

 Other ethical principles apply:

        -       one's responsibility to the victim - in both Jewish and Christian tradition the community has responsibility to protect the vulnerable, and

         -       justice making - both Christian and Hebrew scriptures are clear that repentance has to do with change (Luke 7:3, Ezek. 18:31-32).
                 Repentance and reconciliation should be a prime concern.

 It is rare for a child abuser to come forward and confess their sins to the clergy.  Usually the abused child or other family member will come for assistance.  What is involved then is not a confession but a cry for help.  Thus, the concern is to respect the nature of the information shared and to meet the needs of the victim.

 Clergy are mandated reporters if they are acting as a school official or an administrator of an institution. (Note: This may be changing soon 2/04).

 

SUGGESTIONS20

The following suggestions are from published and unpublished articles, and from conversations with professionals in the field of child abuse and clergy who have dealt with the issue.

General Suggestions

 1.      Be aware of what child abuse is and let your congregation know you are aware.  Focus on the problem in sermons.

 2.      Don't assume it is your duty to support the family as it now exists - draw a line between healthy/unhealthy family behavior.

 3.      Become familiar with general characteristics of abusive families.

 4.      Realize the importance of intervention.

 5.      Be open/non-judgmental/listen/try to help person where they are.

 6.      Become familiar with the referral network - it is not necessary to go it alone.

 7.      Deal with your own feelings about deviant behavior - sexual and otherwise - before trying to help another.

 8.      Exercise care in recruiting teachers and youth leaders.

 9.      IF ABUSE IS NOT SEXUAL, TELL ALL MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY YOU ARE/WILL BE MAKING A REPORT IN ORDER TO HELP
         THEM.

  

Dealing With The Abused Child

1.      Focus on the child - try to hear child's story first (and alone) - before family member pressures them to retract it.

 2.      Believe the story - realize the courage it took to come to you - children do not make up stories about things to which they have not been
          exposed - don't assume parent's version is correct.  What is happening may be so painful they have trouble talking about it.  They have
          trouble facing fact that parent could hurt them and may disguise fact and say monster did it.

 3.      Do not avoid embarrassing subjects.  Let child know everything can be talked about.  If you are embarrassed, try not to show it.

 4.      Stay calm.  You may get angry at perpetrator or disgust/sadness at what happened.  Try not to let these feelings show to child.  They do
           not want to upset adults and may not continue relating what happened.  Talk quietly.  

 5.      Help child understand it is not their fault, is not caused by anything they said or did, that they do not deserve abuse and did the right thing
          to tell.  All victims feel guilt and need to be constantly reassured they are not to blame and there is nothing wrong with them.  This is
          especially true when young boys are molested by men.  The victim fears this means they are homosexual.  Reassure them the abuse has
          nothing to do with their sexuality and problem is with abuser.

 6.      Let the child express feelings - feelings are neither right nor wrong - validate them.   Some common feelings of abused children are fear,
          guilt, humiliation, isolation, sadness betrayal, anger, shame, helplessness, embarrassment, manipulated, hurt, confusion.  These are
          negative feelings.  Resist the impulse to try to talk the child out of feeling this way.

 7.      Do not ask leading questions or make statements such as "that must have hurt" or "that must have made you mad".  Rather ask
          open-ended questions that allows child to tell own story such as "How did you feel when this happened".  If child having trouble telling story
          ask questions like "where were you?" or if anyone else was in house.

 8.      Assess safety needs. Determine who is abusing child and how often they have contact.  Build a support network for the child - a "safe"
          house where they can go/phone numbers to call.  If it is someone in household, immediate action must be taken.

9.      Find out what child wants from you.  They may not know, but are looking for help and guidance to make abuse stop.  Do not make
         promises you cannot keep (such as that you will keep their secret).  Be honest and explain why this is not possible.

 10.      Help clarify options.  Offer to go with them for help.  Stand by them if they are removed from the home/during court proceedings.

 

Dealing with the Abusing Parent/Caretaker

1.      Help this person accept responsibility for their actions.  They have been taking advantage of others - now it is time to look at the other's
         needs.  Encourage self-reporting.

2.      The abuser may come to you for confession and forgiveness.  If abuse is ongoing, abuser has not repented and forgiveness is
         inappropriate.  Stress that forgiveness is not a substitute for counseling and accepting the consequences of their actions.

3.      Abusers try to manipulate others into sharing their view.  Being naive about abusers can be dangerous.

4.      Recognize this person needs complicated long-term help.  If you are not a professional in this field do not counsel an abuser - you could
         do additional harm.  Help them find help and stick with it.

5.      Never tell an abuser the victim has spoken to you.  The abuser does not need to know - and it can place the child in jeopardy!

6.      Child should not be present during conversations with abuser.

7.      Avoid any confrontation with the abuser when he/she is a family member.  It is imperative the child is protected from reprisals.

 

Dealing With Non-Offending Parent

1.      Help them learn it is their responsibility to get help - not to protect the abuser.  Work through feelings of loyalty to and fear of spouse vs.
         needs of the child.  Point out increased needs of  child victim and their responsibility to the child.  Help them resist pressure to make victim
         retract story.

2.      Look at reasons for not being aware of/not stopping abuse.  Stress that all have suffered hurt/harm.

3.      Be aware of remorse/anger/remorse cycle of abuser and how this affects spouse and family.

4.      Bring good news to bad situations - empower people to say "no".  Use pastoral authority to confirm what is wrong.

 

In A Child Custody Case

Some clergy report child abuse charges appear at the time of custody battles.  A recent Broome County study of incidences reported during custody battles revealed findings of abuse and neglect at the same rates of other reports.  "False" allegations do not flourish during custody battles.  However, it is a difficult time for both spouses.   Keep cool, believe only half of what you hear, and raise some issues.

1.      What is the real concern - not having the child or the best interests of the child?  Why is the issue being raised now?

2.      If abuse was going on before and accusing parent did not report it, they are considered neglectful.  (Remember that this often happens if
         one parent is afraid for own safety and that of child/ren if they confront the abuser).

3.      Are one/both parents being emotionally abusive at this time?

 

ENDNOTES

        1.      Summarized from Pellauer, Mary.  Ministry to Abusive Families and If There Is Abuse in Your House.  Philadelphia: Division of Parish
                 Services, Lutheran Church in America, 1973.

        2.      National Committee to Prevent Child Abuse - NYS Office.

        3.      National Committee to Prevent Child Abuse - NYS Office.

        4.      Survey data from Coppernoll, Lee & Peggy Halsey.  Crisis - Women's Experience and The Church's Response.  Report of a Crisis
                 Survey of United Methodists, 1980-81.

        5.    Summarized from A Curriculum on Child Abuse and Neglect:  Leaders Manual (Department of Health, Education and Welfare Office of
               Human Development Services, Publication No. (OHDS) 79-30220, September 1979) and The Role of Law Enforcement (United
               States Department of Health and Human Services 1984).

         6.      Reprinted from Say "NO!": Protecting Children Against Sexual Abuse.  Health Education and Promotion Services Group, New York
                 State Health Department.

         7.      Compiled from Say "NO!"; Protecting Children Against Sexual Abuse and from a handout produced by the Rape and Abuse Crisis
                  Center, Binghamton, NY.

         8.      Compiled from Pellauer, State of New York Department of Health and Department of Social Services Official Guidelines (Suspected
                  Child Abuse and Neglect and Sexual Abuse and Maltreatment of Children, Health Education and Promotion Services Group's Say
                  "NO!", and Broome County Coordinating Council of Child Abuse and Neglect handout.

         9.      State Law quoted from State of New York Department of Health and Department of Social Services Official Guidelines.

       10.     Compiled from works of Pellauer, State of New York Department of Health and Department of Social Services Official Guidelines, A
                 Curriculum on Child Abuse and Neglect (Department of Health, Education and Welfare Office of Human Development Services),
                 "What Is Child Protective Services?"  (Broome County Department of Social Services Report), and Broome County Coordinating
                 Council of Child Abuse and Neglect handouts.

       11.     Compiled from Sate of New York Department of Health and Department of Social Services Official Guidelines and "What Is Child
                  Protective Services?" (Broome County Department of Social Services).

       12.     Compiled from  The Role of Law Enforcement (United States Department of Health and Human Services, 1984 DHHS Publication
                  No. OHDS 84-30193), State of New York Department of Health and Department of Social Services Official Guidelines and Broome
                  County Coordinating Council on Child Abuse and Neglect handouts.

       13.     Compiled from State of New York Department of Health and Department of Social Services Official Guidelines and Broome County
                  Coordinating Council on Child Abuse and Neglect handouts.

       14.     Reprinted from handout prepared by Broome County Coordinating Council on Child Abuse and Neglect.

       15.     Quoted from: Besharov, D., Reporting Child Abuse and Neglect (in press, 1984).

       16.     Compiled from New York State Department of Health and Department of Social Services Official Guidelines, What Is Child
                  Protective Services? (Broome County Department of Social Services, and Broome County Coordinating Council on Child Abuse
                  and Neglect handouts.

       17.     Copy of official reporting form.

       18.     Compiled from What Is Child Protective Services? (Broome County Department of Social Services) and Broome County
                 Coordinating Council on Child Abuse and Neglect handouts.

       19.     Compiled from "Confidentiality and Mandatory Reporting:  A False Dilemma?" (Fortune, Marie.  The Christian Century, 1986) and
                  "Clergy Confidentiality and Related Legal Issues" (Reichley, Kenneth, 1987).

       20.     Compiled from all the above sources as well as conversations with professionals in the field and clergy who have had experience
                 dealing with child abuse and neglect.

 

        prepared by:  Mary Lu Bowen (©1987, revised 1995)